As I have written in my previous blog, my sister is coming home to the Philippines next month (which happens to be next week!) to attend her best friend's wedding. I also thought it'll be the best time to have the pamamanhikan while my sister is home. 

 Pamamanhikan is the traditional engagement in the Philippines. This is where the man asks for the woman's hand in marriage; all in the presence of both parties' parents and relatives. In the olden days, it is to the woman's parents that the man proposes and not to the woman. The goal of the man is to convince the woman's parents to let him marry their daughter. To help their cause, the man and his family would bring gifts like food, jewelry (hence, the engagement ring), among other things. To further convince the woman's parents, the man and his family serves the woman's family by preparing the food, and washing the dishes, to let the parents' know that the man will serve, provide for, and take care of the woman.  Once the woman's parents give their permission, the couple becomes officially engaged. Is is also during the pamamanhikan where the blueprints of wedding plans are drawn; the parents will then discuss and agree on the wedding date, church, reception, guest lists, etc.

 As you know, our engagement was not very traditional. In our case, both of our parents knew that we will eventually get married, so it was not that necessary for Hon to ask my parents' permission. Kelvin proposed to me in my house and it was just the two of us; you can read about the proposal here.

 Since the engagement wasn't very traditional, I reckon the pamamanhikan wouldn't be either. Traditionally, it is the parents who plan and decide on the wedding details. But since we're not that traditional nor conservative, Hon and I requested that we plan our own wedding, with the help and guidance of our parents. So on the day of pamamanhikan, Hon and I will present our plans to our parents and then we will put all our heads together and finalize these plans. 

 Speaking of plans, we also have to make sure to observe some superstitious beliefs when it comes to the pamamanhikan. Two weeks ago, Tita Kila, my future mother-in-law, asked me if there were any superstitions or beliefs that their family will need to observe. So last week, I visited Lola and asked her how a typical pamamanhikan works in Batangas. And boy, was I in for a surprise!

 According to Lola, since the groom's family is to convince the bride's family that he will make a good husband and provider, the groom's family will have to prepare and bring the food, including the utensils, to the bride's home. Additionally, the bride, or any of her family members, should not clean up or wash the dishes; the groom and the rest of his party will have to clean up and wash the dishes. 

 Since these times have become quite modern, I asked Lola if we could tweak the system a bit. Lola agreed that Hon and his family will have to bring the food but we can also prepare a few homemade dishes. Tita Kila is also from Batangas and I'm sure she has missed the good ol' Batangas cooking. Since I refuse to let Honey, or any member of his family to clean up or wash the dishes, Lola agreed to let me just get a cleaning lady and Hon will just take care of her fee.

 But another thing worries me. Hon and I have been together for seven years but never have our parents met. I reckon the pamamanhikan can become an awkward/uneasy situation because this will be the first time for our parents to meet. I can just imagine Hon and I cringing when the topic of budget and guest list come up. Haha! But then again, our parents are amazing people, and they want nothing but the best for our wedding so I'm sure the pamamanhikan will be a blast. Our mothers are both Batanguenas so I'm sure they will agree on a lot of things.

 As of today, Hon and I agreed that we'll have the pamamanhikan on the first day of March, so that'll give us enough time to decide on a few things and prepare the things and plans that we will present to our parents.

 Got any tips? 

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