pamamanhikan in one word: PHENOMENAL
(If you'd like to know what a pamamanhikan is, you can read back here.)
Ever since Hon and I got engaged, we've been planning as to when we were to hold the pamamanhikan. We couldn't quite decide on when we were to have it because of the conflicts of not only of our schedules, but also of our families. Hon's family is based in Manila and mine is in Batangas.
Finally we have decided on the date, December 26. We decided to have the pamamanhikan over the Christmas break since everyone would be on vacation.
Okay, that's enough of the introduction, let's talk about THE day. :)
Sine the 24th, I've been keeping myself busy cooking and helping Mama in the kitchen, while Daddy and Kuya were busy cleaning the rest of the house, terrace, den, gardens, backyard, and garage. On the day of the event, Mom had been awake since 1am, cooking and making sure everything was spotless. I woke up at around 5am and polished all the furniture, even polishing all wooden furniture and fixtures.
I was so freakin nervous I was fidgeting and running around the house, inspecting every nook and cranny, making sure everything was in order.
At around 9:30am, hon sent me an SMS saying they were on their way. And man, if I was nervous before, I suddenly became a big bundle of nerves when I got the text.
I then started a text brigade and sent all my aunts this same message, "Tita, papunta na sila. San na kayo? Kailangan ko ang moral support nyo." Tita, they're on their way. Where are you? I need you moral support. Little did I know they were on their way to our house and we saying their prayers for the event to go well.
I knew there was no reason to be nervous but I still was. My parents rock and they are the best in the world. Kelvin's family has been amazing to me this past 8 years and they've accepted me as part of the family from the very beginning. I knew they were going to get along, being both of our families are incredibly loving and caring. I guess it was because it was the first time that our families were going to meet so the nerves were inevitable.
My aunts, Tita Bong and her husband Tito Van, Tita Ulen and her husband Tito Alex, Tita Anie and her husband Tito Danny, and Tita Gi with her son, my cousin Lau finally arrived. All these remarkable people, bless their hearts, arrived minutes after my text message before Hon arrived. Apparently, they've all agreed to get to our house early, in order to receive our guests. My sister was also in attendance through Skype which I am immensely grateful for. I am glad that Ate was still a part of the event even if she is in Dubai. Thank God for technology!
After a few nerve-wracking minutes, Hon and his family finally arrived. I rushed out the door and greeted them. But boy, was I in for a spectacular surprise! I knew that they would be bringing two cars because the whole family was going to be there and they brought along two ladies who agreed to help with the event. But there weren't just two cars , there were three! There was the white accord that Papa (Kelvin's dad) drove, and the gray Tamarraw FX that Hon drove, and a black Honda City. It took me a few seconds before I was able to recognize the black car. It was Jo's car! (Jo is Kelvin's best man, along with Keith, Hon's brother) Inside the car was not only Jo, but also our two other best buddies Louie, and Janno, who are also part of our entourage. Philip, hon's childhood friend, was also with honey and Keith in the FX. Talk about sweet surprises!
The boys with Honey, Papa, and Jace
My parents and I, and the rest of our welcome party, then received Papa, Mama, Jami, her husband Jace, and her baby daughter Sophia, Keith, and the rest of them into our home. It took Hon's party numerous trips from their cars into our house before they could unload all of the things that they brought with them. Mama, the two ladies, and Honey were so busy in the dining area setting up the able with the dishes they have prepared. I wanted to help but I was forbidden to because of some ancient tradition according to the elders. According to tradition, the groom (and his companions) should prepare and serve the food, as well as clean up and wash the dishes; and the bride is not supposed to take part in any of the tasks. So the entire time, Mama Kila, honey, Keith, the boys, and the two ladies were all busy putting all of the food on the table. The only thing I did was open one of the boxes that contained a type of food that was formed into the shape of a fish. And let me tell you, there were a LOT of food. After a few minutes our dining table was filled with dishes and dishes we couldn't find any more space to put our own!
And there weren't just cooked food! They even brought raw rice, baked goods, water, juices, chocolates wrapped in gold foils, tikoy, hopia, and loads of gifts from from all of them! Hon even had gifts (which he himself wrapped) for each of us. Even for Prince and Ate Ye. Woah!
And look at what my baby got me!
It said, "To my most beautiful, lovely, one and only baby. Lab ü & Merry Christmas."
But more than the gifts, tokens, and food, my family and I are more moved by the symbol that all those gifts represented. I am deeply appreciative of the efforts that the whole family has exerted in observing and respecting our culture and customs. In our culture, the pamamanhikan is the groom's way of showing the bride and her family that the groom is able to care for and provide for the bride and their future children. And with the whole family present and supportive, and with their offerings, my family and relatives are immensely happy and are comforted that I will be well cared for by my future husband. My aunts had nothing but praise for Hon, his family, and our friends. The day after the pamamanhikan my mom and her sisters were talking, they were so moved by what hon's family did they had tears in their eyes!
And everyone hit it off in just minutes! Pretty soon Daddy, Papa, and my uncles were chatting in the den, my mom and Mama Kila were chatting in the kitchen like excited friends, my aunts were chatting with Keith in the living room, and the rest were talking away in the terrace and garden. And our remarkable friends, including Keith, went around handing out crinkles and drinks to everyone. My aunts were so impressed that these young good looking men did not hesitate to go around and offer goodies. Janno, Jo, Louie, Philip, and Keith, IF you are reading this, oo na gwapo na kayo.
Janno, Philip, Louie, and Keith
When everything has been settled, we all decided to move to the living room to start the discussion. Hon and his family sat at the couch and I sat between Mama and Daddy across them with the titas on the chairs beside us. Neither Kel nor I knew what to do or how to start things off, but thank heavens for Tito Alex. He sat beside Hon and guided him with how to get things going.
Hon started by introducing each of the members of his family and our friends. He then expressed their intentions in coming to our home. "Sana po nasiyahan po kayo at tanggapin nyo po ang munti naming handa para sa inyo. Nandito po ako kasama ng pamilya ko at kaibigan ko para po pormal na hingin ang kamay ni Leng." I am hoping that you are pleased, and that you will accept what we have prepared for your family. I am here with family and friends to formally ask for your permission if I can have Leng's hand in marriage.
OMG! Oh, the feels!
Kilig sobra!
A scene that I've seen hundreds of times in the cinema, the scene that leaves me with goosebumps! The line that I've heard from numerous chick flicks, and sappy romantic movies has now been uttered by my very own prince charming to my parents, in the presence of both our families, relatives, and friends.
Now we all know that asking for my parents' permission wasn't completely necessary as our parents have given us their blessing when we first informed them of our engagement. (You can read about our engagement by reading back to this page and you can click here to find out how we told my parents) But the fact that hon still asked my parents and in the presence of everyone speaks volumes of how much he loves me and respects my family.
I swear I heard someone say "Aww." right after hon expressed his intention.
After a couple of seconds, my Mama answered, "Hindi lang namin sayo ibibigay ang kamay nya. Ibinibigay na namin siya sayo ng buong buo." We will give you not just her hand, but we're giving you her whole self.
I think I just heard a collective sigh from our captive audience.
And everything just went amazingly smoothly from there. Hon and I presented our plans to everyone; those we've already booked, decided on, and those we have yet to take care of. The elders were able to give us their recommendations and asked questions about all other things about the wedding day like hotel reservations, lights and sounds and others. When everything has been covered, everyone was happy and content, and Mama and Dad again confirmed their consent for Kelvin and me to marry. And after a second, our families broke into an applause. It is official. Tuloy ang kasal! Hon and I are getting married!
The two families. Si Ate Ye na lang ang kulang.
The next order of business is of course, the food. We all feasted on the mouthwatering food that the Tans have prepared, and my mama served some of our own delectable dishes too. The men found themselves in the den again and some set up their own table at the garden where they began to drink. The women stayed inside the house talking a mile a minute about a number of things.
The ladies
With Tita Ulen and Tita Anie
Our parents
Our outstanding family
With the titas and Tito Alex
Tito Van, Kuya, Lau, Tito Danny, and Daddy
The two families
When things have winded down and stories have been exchanged, it was time for the Tans to leave. They had a room reserved at Valentino where they intended to stay for the night. Hon and I also wanted them to see the venue hoping they would like it.
We walked the Tans and our friends to the gate where they boarded their cars. Ooh, may paghabol pa palang pasalubong! Fiesta ham! Yum!
I decided to go with them to Valentino since Hon wasn't sure how to get there. But I ended up staying the night too! How will I ever resist Hon and our friends?! Hahaha! What a perfect day!
As the day came to a close, I couldn't help but tear up when I recalled the events. I am humbled and immensely grateful for the spectacular people in our lives:
>Mama and Daddy who went out of their way and turned the house upside down and prepared food and fruits just to make sure that the Tans were welcome. I've always been grateful for the fact that ever since Hon and I started, they've accepted Kelvin as their own and would even cook Hon's favorite food.
>Mama, Papa, Jami, and Keith, who graciously respected my family's tradition of pamamanhikan. They brought not only food and gifts but their whole family to meet mine. One of the reasons why I am very confident that Kelvin will be a good husband and father is because I have seen how good and kind their family is and I know that Kelvin is a really good man who puts his family before anything else.
>All my titas and their spouses who made sure to be there and are always there to support me. Even when I was young and they were still single, they helped Mama and Daddy raise me and my brother and sister. I consider them my second mothers, and my family can always count on them whenever, wherever. I am eternally grateful for them and I love them to pieces. I am also grateful that Lau was there on behalf of his father, Tito Poly.
>Our awesome friends Jo, Janno, Louie, and Philip, who dropped everything the day after Christmas, just to be there to support me and Kelvin on one of our special days. They have always been with us in every part of our relationship and we are even more pleased that they were there to witness the meeting of two families. We really made the right decision in making them a part of our wedding party.
>Last but definitely not the least, I am grateful for my fiancé, the love of my life, my prince charming. I am amazed by his patience, resolve, strength, and determination in making our relationship work. Ever since we got engaged, he has always been the one who is able to calm me when I start to panic, and he has always reassured me that everything will be OK and that he'll take care of everything. He is a dream come true, and he has made all my fairy tale dreams come true. A girl has always dreamed of being wooed, given flowers, chocolates, stuffed toy, taken on dates, sang to, and proposed to. And he has fulfilled every single one of these dreams of mine. And now we are in the process of fulfilling the next dream, which is for me to walk down the aisle into his waiting arms. I can't wait for that day, especially now that we have been officially blessed by our families.
And now that we have five months left, things are going to get even busier.
I can't wait!
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Wedding Blog: http://ourroadtothealtar.blogspot.com/
My life's blog: http://www.sentimentsofleng.blogspot.com/
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